Monkeys Swinging Off Crossbars

A first-division, pro soccer team from the '70s had the wildest gimmick to throw off opponents in the middle of games. It shockingly involved… live primates? Fresh off Labor Day weekend, we look back at perhaps the most insane job in American soccer history (featuring monkeys). Plus, we revisit Taylor Swift’s youth soccer days, dive into Son’s emotional LA debut, and much more.

This week’s stories:

• 🎤 Taylor Swift Played Youth Soccer

• 🇰🇷 Always Sonny in LA

• 🐒 Monkeys Swinging Off Crossbars

• 🤦‍♂️ Repeat Offender

• 🗳️ Poll + Last Week’s Answers

• ➡️ And More

MUSIC
Taylor Swift Played Youth Soccer

By now, you’ve probably heard that Taylor Swift got engaged to Kansas City Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce last week.

But something you may not have heard about the pop icon is that before launching her musical career, she was kicking about in a youth soccer league, repping a team from her hometown of Wyomissing, PA.

And if you doubt her skills, she proved she’s still got a mean right boot at one of her concerts a few years back. I guess her fans may be right… she really can do it all.

CULTURE
Always Sonny in LA

The City of Angels finally got to welcome its latest idol. Sonny. Adored the world over, but if he was going to continue his career elsewhere outside Europe, you couldn’t have thought of a better destination.

Not only is LA the metropolitan area with the biggest Korean population in the US, but it’s also home to millions of Mexican fans who’ve been cheering for Son Heung-Min ever since the 2018 World Cup. A true cult hero.

The scenes out of LA on Sunday were beautiful, captured perfectly by our good friend Jordy Marsono. You can see how it felt to be on the ground right here.

COVER STORY
Monkeys Swinging Off Crossbars

Labor Day weekend had me wondering, what is the craziest job someone has had in American soccer history?

If it’s not being the Dallas Tornado monkey handler back in 1977, then I don’t know what is. At the very least, it’s in the top 5.

The story goes that during that season, the Dallas Tornado of the NASL had a real monkey (or a pair of monkeys) that would hang from the crossbar and do tricks during the pre-game warmups and national anthem. But that was only the start of it.

In peak NASL fashion, the Dallas Tornado took it as far as having the monkeys run along the crossbar after every goal scored. It was absolutely ridiculous, and opposition players were quoted as having wanted to punt balls at those monkeys for how infuriating they were.

It really threw them off, and I really can’t blame them. Imagine being down several scores and having to watch a pair of primates climb the posts for the umpteenth time after giving up yet another goal. I’d be fuming.

To date, only two clips of the monkeys have been found.

The best one comes from a game between the Dallas Tornado and Team Hawaii. If you watch carefully to the left side of the net, you will see the handler boosting one of the monkeys up onto the woodwork. It’s surreal.

The second clip (from a game between the Dallas Tornado and the LA Aztecs) is less clear, but if you have keen eyesight, you will see the handler and one of the monkeys getting tangled up on the right side of the goal and fumbling the gimmick. I’m sure that must have happened on more than one occasion.

Anyways, we initially heard about the monkeys while reading about Team Hawaii a couple of weeks back, and then we spent an embarrassing amount of time trying to find the above clips on YouTube.

We’re still searching for any additional info on the handler and the monkeys, so if you know anything, please let us know. We’re obsessed with getting to the bottom of it all. It might really be the pinnacle of quirky American soccer lore.

CRIME
Repeat Offender

Disgraceful.

The Seattle Sounders handily beat Inter Miami 3-0 in the Leagues Cup Final, and Luis Suarez had an absolute meltdown at the end of the match.

This one will go right near the top of his most infamous moments. Watch the incident here. Just shameful.

CLUBELEVEN
The Supporters Section

Let us know your thoughts! We’ll highlight your best answers next week.

CLUBELEVEN
Aggregates

Europe-Bound: NWSL star Alyssa Thompson seems to be close to signing for this European giant. What a move it’d be.

Breaking the Piggy Bank: MLS doubled its spending on transfers this year compared to 2024. The official figure is jaw-dropping.

Trade In: Seattle Sounders had one of the best marketing ploys in their championship game against Miami. 10/10.

Slowly But Surely: Seems like American lower-league soccer is converting everyone into fans these days!

New England Soccer Doc: A must-watch. This region was the cradle of soccer in our country, and now it’s ushering in its newest era. Check out Because Football’s incredible doc about New England soccer right here.

ANNOUNCEMENT
1994 WC Jacket Winner

We’ve got our champion!

After a random draw from all those who entered this special 1994 denim jacket giveaway, held in collaboration with our great friends at Short Corner Media, we’re happy to announce that Paul Fleck will be taking this incredible piece of history home 🥳

Paul told us, “I’ve forgotten birthdays, anniversaries, and countless life events over the years. But I’ll never forget watching USMNT v Brazil on July 4 ‘94 from my grandparents’ couch while everyone else BBQ’d outside. Core memories.”

*The giveaway may be over, but don’t hesitate to still reach out if you’ve got any stories or media you’d like to share from the 1994 World Cup.

GRASSROOTS
Nashville’s Greatest Hero

We’d never met him before, but Weiler came out to see us on the side of the road during a brief, impromptu pit stop in Nashville back in April.

He gave us words of encouragement during our oil trouble, dropped off a few items for the bus, and asked us to come back someday.

An absolute legend by all accounts… and as it turns out, his awesomeness also extends to the pitch. This past week, he was selected as the player of the match for local outfit AFC Nashville City United.

Just had to drop a congrats right here! See you soon at the Open Cup semis, Weiler? 👀 

CLUBELEVEN
Your Takes 🗯️ 

Last week, we asked you: Does MLS have a refereeing problem? Here are some of your answers:

• “No, it’s blown out of proportion. No one likes to see their team lose. However, we gotta stop acting like refs care more about a certain team winning instead of doing their job that they're paid to do and going home to their families.” - Jeremy

• “Yes, but it’s not as bad as other leagues. The standard of referees is highly uneven. There are some very good refs in MLS, but there are also some really inconsistent refs whose consistent foibles hurt the overall perception of the league and refs.” - Logan

In the poll, “No, it’s blown out of proportion” and “Yes, and something needs to be done about it” tied for first with about 44% of the vote each. One of the most split polls we’ve ever had!

UP NEXT
Sound of Music

I was at the pair of Oasis shows in NYC this long weekend, and amidst a sea of Man City gear, I spotted a Philadelphia Union and a Portland Hearts bucket hat (not pictured) out in the wild. Always great to see little American soccer connections like that randomly!

Anyways, with so many references to music in this edition, I’m sure you can guess where we’ll be heading next…

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Have a great Tuesday!

Pablo